RE: 6 January 2020 Riots

hundreds of rioters threatened the voice of the free people, based on lies fed to them by a man who has no clue what reality is anymore. men and women who have brought our democracy to the brink of destruction because they believe the words of a man who puts his trust in the tales of idiots and his own twisted and sick imagination. 

a woman was shot by police. emergency services treated her on scene and transported her to the hospital. she was DOA. she lost her life because of confusion and trigger happy people. additionally, a police officer died, doing the job that he loved. he was proud to be doing what he did. 

another officer was crushed between a door and the mob, bloodied, while people were trying to remove his mask as he was screaming in agony. screaming. in agony. read that again. and again. read that until it makes you uncomfortable. 

when he was finally able to get free, he was asked if he was okay. he answered affirmatively, according to CNN. however, CNN was unaware of his condition at the time that I read the article. I hope that he is safe and healthy, physically unbroken by what he went through. the gods know that he will struggle with this trauma mentally for years; why burden him with any more physical pain that he had been through?

it is heartbreaking that the country is now on the brink of destruction. it has been a four year dumpster fire, and this is the culmination. this is the fall-out. we have expected something, but we never expected this. it has been more than 200 years since the Capitol Building was overtaken - since the British overtook in in 1814 and burned it, during the War of 1812.

I thought this would be it, Trump trying to be the next Hitler - he is a Facist after all. with his lies about the election, after Russia-gate, after all of his fake news and alternative facts, I had thought we reached the end. I thought things could not get worse. his followers - brainwashed and mindless - proved us ALL wrong. 

this is so destructive for everything we have fought for, for our rights, our democracy. what happens if - when - this whole thing comes to heads? this country as we know it will cease to exist. 

what is worse is that Trump doesn't care. Trump acts like this was nothing, like the riot was totally justified, like he had done nothing at all. several of his supporters in the House and Senate have turned against him since the riot started. even his Vice President has turned his back on Trump, certifying the election results, and condemning the riot.

these are uncertain times, and we have to stand together, in unity. we need to support each other, and fight against all the injustices that were caused during this dumpster fire term. we need to remain united as one front. we are stronger than this. 

RE: You know who you are

We met in September, in the height of the final days of summer, and the start of my absolute favorite season. On an anonymous site, no less. And the very first day we talked, we met at my local municipal park. 

And that was the start of our fiery - yet short - fling. We had four or five weeks of fun, hooking up, with that chemistry so on point, it was crazy, especially with someone I barely knew. We somehow clicked so well in that way that it was insane. 

And somehow, in the few weeks we had our fling, I developed feelings for you. I really did. Even though I tried so damn hard to keep that separate from our fling. Because I enjoyed our thing so much, I never acknowledged them. 

But yet... my anxiety got in the way. You said that there had been red flags that you chose to ignore because you enjoyed our physical fling as much as I did. When my anxiety exploded, our relationship fractured. It fell apart. You ghosted me, and I kind of fell apart. 

I tried to reach out to you, and you tried again with me - for a day. But you said I was still too much. You couldn't handle me. And you said goodbye for real. It was then that I finally acknowledged my feelings for you. 

I sent you a message or three after you said goodbye to tell you how I felt. You never responded. I messaged you, posing as one of my friends, and you basically told me to f**k off. Even though I told you, still posing as one of my friends, that you didn't realize what you had lost, and that you never deserved me anyways, because I never deserved your bullsh*t. 

It was then that I finally let go. I let you go. Because you are not worth my time. You are not worth the headache, you are not worth my mental health struggling, you are not worth my emotional stability becoming unstable. So I have to say thank you for helping me wake up, because I now realize that it's your kind of bullsh*t that I do not need in my life. 

Have a good life. 

RE: Autumn

Cool air wrapping around us;

Sweater weather is officially here.

The leaves are bursts of color,

A painting come to life,

Catching the sun’s rays majestically.

Bundling up in sweaters, with pumpkin spice coffee warm in our hands,

Nippy breezes playing with our hair.

Our breath sometimes coming out in white puffs, early in the morning,

Earthy smells lingering, warm and nutty, aromatic.

Bonfires and s’mores on the weekends,

The smell of burning leaves heavy, but soothing, calming,

A hot cocoa warming our fingers while the fire warms our bodies.

Pumpkins line driveways and walkways, candlelight flickering eerily.

Cider mills and apple cider, cider mill doughnuts,

Thanksgiving dinner, foliage, piles of leaves in yards.

Autumn is a time of change,

A time of celebrations,

A time of transitions.

Autumn is when we find ourselves remade.

An Ode to Notre Dame

A city, a nation, a people cry out in the night,
History is being engulfed by the hungry tongues of fire.
Your spire, having lasted for generations, vanishes, swallowed by the tendrils of flames,
And the world gasps, a collective scream erupts in disbelief.
Against the thick columns of smoke, your towers still stand,
Backlit by the angry, flickering flames.
After hours, you can finally breathe fresh air,
The fire vanquished by the brave.
Within, the pews and the cross still stand, all untouched against the scorched and blackened walls,
Several of your relics saved from the flames in the night.
A people coming together to rally beneath your towers,
And the promise of you being rebuilt lingers, giving us hope.
On our knees, we pray for healing - both yours and ours -
Our hearts broken, spirits shattered, but with a glimmer of hope.
You have been saved, stronger than anything trying to bring you down.
If history is any indicator of the future, you will be restored.
You are a part of my heritage, my love, my roots,
Eternally beautiful, strong, historical, and fierce.
You are a cultural icon.
You always hold a place in my heart.
You are Notre Dame --
Our Lady… Even in the face of destruction.

Blue Ribbons and a gravel locket.

Run around frantically with your hands up in the air.
Feel the breeze blowing like a light summer wind.
Theres a park up the street about a half a mile.
Behind an elementary school
Where a young girl was pushing a stroller.
On the way to the store.
The different hughes of green soaked in from all the tall trees surrounding.
She looked around and everything was gone.
Where were the swings? Where they used to sit?
Where were the wood chips they used to grasp?
Where was the laughter in the distance?
It was all soaked into the gravel now
Covered by parking spaces.
A changed place that left blue ribbons
A time machine never to return to
Memories locked away
Into a Gravel heart formed by rocks
In the ground.
The blue sky would never forget
The different hughes of green.
The breeze still blew as minutes went bye.
Have you ever wondered what its like to be a cloud?
As you look up and envy its weightlessness?
Only to get up and not even remember you asked that
A few seconds that turned into years later?
Still looking through the same dark glasses?
Remember the girl who accidently swallowed a bug and ate it's legs.
Or she thought!
That lived on hillside lane.
For a second she laughed as she kept passing by.

RE: Every Day Heroes

My favorite definition of hero is “one who shows great courage” (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hero). To me, a hero doesn’t think twice about doing random acts of courage. On top of it all, they may not even think of themselves as heroes. 

Each person’s path to the title of “hero” is different, as unique, beautiful, and fierce as each person. The journey doesn’t end at “hero”; “hero” is just as much a journey as it is a destination. It’s a journey of growth, change, testing limits, and courage. 

Honestly, the best hero stories aren’t always the ones they show on the news. I am not saying they aren’t any less a hero as the next person. I prefer the ones who are just as selfless and compassionate as they are courageous. I think they can be way more inspiring, anyways. 

Before I go any further, I want to mention my favorite definition of courage. I keep using the word “courage” here. I have no idea where I found this definition; however, as soon as I found it, I fell in love with it. Courage means having strength in the face of fear. Quite frankly, I think that definition is best suited for a hero over any other definition. 

My favorite stories of hero’s are the ones about people who save lives every day (EMTs, cops, first responders in general, nurses, doctors), people who risk their lives without a second thought (cops, firefighters, military personnel, people who rescue others in dangerous and life threatening situations), people in general who go above and beyond (teachers, social workers, counselors, and therapists). Because, more often than not, it is their calling to do what they do. It’s no small thing to give your life to a career or moment in a selfless act like that. 

My hero’s are the people who speak up for others. Whether they speak up about mental health, political or social issues they are against, for people who cannot speak up for themselves, it doesn’t matter. Because they are speaking up for their reasons and are courageous enough to keep using their voice until something changes. 

My hero’s are the people who risk their lives every day in a career they are called to do. It takes someone with a superhuman - Herculean, even - amount of courage to not even think twice to save others before even thinking about the risk to their own life. 

My heroes are the people who save lives, the people who hold hands of people who are dying, who are there as support to the families of the dying or whose lives are being saved. Without them, there would be a lot of lost people, a higher mortality rate in so many things. Without them, we may not have the chance to hug loved ones again. 

My heroes are the people who do random acts of courage every day. Because, without them, my faith in humanity would forever be gone. Without them, we wouldn’t have people who are selfless and compassionate. 

To all the heroes out there, I say THANK YOU! Thank you for everything you do every day. You are miracle workers. You are compassionate. You are the forgottten people in the midst of disaster or turmoil. You are the people who don’t stop making the world a better place. Believe me... you are remembered, loved, and much appreciated to and by many people. 

Re: Forgotten Moments

Each moment that is forgotten, left hidden somewhere in our memories, buried underneath the realities of life, is a story left untold, begging to be opened and read.
Each of these moments linger and pause before leaving, hoping we will remember them, but knowing that - with time - they will be forever a closed book, to be left and collecting dust, meant to be forgotten.
All the forgotten moments make a tapestry of untold stories, left behind for something less, thinking we are chasing more. We leave forgotten moments in exchange for money, fame, love unpromised, meaningless and cold emptiness. Everything that leaves us empty and yearning for something more to life.
In the forgotten moments do we truly remember to live and love fully, forgetting all that is empty and cold. The forgotten moments show us what it means to be human. These moments are the ones in which we truly are awake and feeling every emotion. True reality is reached in the forgotten moments, ascending time and casting off the chains that bind us to the grind.
In the forgotten moments, we truly ascend into our greatest and best forms, becoming the spiritual beings the Universe has brought us into.
Hence, we forget, when we remember our human selves, these moments. Because, once bound to human thoughts and desires, we forget again what it is like to be something bigger and more than what we are.
Hence, the forgotten moments. We no longer linger in the place where we are something more. We forget the moments in which we were, are, and forever will be.
In the forgotten moments, we remember our human selves are only small extensions of our spiritual selves that live on forever. We remember that our only ties to the physical world are our physical bodies. We remember that all of our experiences are linked, our memories and knowledge are forever in the Universe, giving and taking with other beings.
But they are forgotten, so we forget how to live and love fully, to want for something meaningful over something meaningless, to live in the moment.
Remember the forgotten moments so they are forgotten no more.